Thursday, June 14, 2018

Idle Champions Review

Heard about this game while watching the Wizards of the Coast stream of many eyes. I am super excited that they are going to try doing Undermountain again. Hopefully, it will not "Castle Greyhawk" (The joke dungeon released in the '80s, every level by a different author, no relation to Gary's design except the name and no connection between each level) on us. Unfortunately, despite all the Hoopla, the only product one can obtain today was "Idle Champions". Since this was all that was available and free to play I thought I'd give it a shot. After 6 hours I wish I could get back for something more useful (like sleeping),  I am issuing the following warnings:

Warning This game is not Dungeons and Dragons. I know of no version of Dungeons and Dragons were a 350th level dwarf and a 1st level tiefling have the same hit points.

Warning This game will give you carpal tunnel syndrome. Morrowind also gave me carpal tunnel syndrome, but it was much more worth it.

Warning Plants versus zombies has more tactics than this. In fact, tick tac toe has more tactics than this. Your sole options are rearranging the party and clicking on the endless stream of monsters as fast as you can.

Warning This game relies on loot crates. It doesn't seem it is "pay to win" since you can get loot crates with the gems from level bosses instead of cash. However,  you will need some crates to get your characters magic items.

Warning The levels (at least the sixty I have played so far are) are superlinear side-scrollers with almost no terrain at all (there are bushes and rocks to click on the side of the screen occasionally but they have no effect other than providing gold).

Warning This game gives you more gold for NOT  playing the game than playing. I logged out in the middle of a quest and when I came back several hours later it gave me 20 billion gold pieces. That may seem like a lot but it was only enough to unlock a 1st level tiefling, and even with the extra character I still couldn't beat the 50th level quasit level boss. Level bosses have this crazy mechanic where if you don't defeat them quickly they start powering up, the quasit had powered up 364 times when my last character went down.

Warning There is Minsic but no Boo. Perhaps the cosmic space hamster lurks in a loot crate somewhere, but I am not spending cash to find him.

On the plus side, the art is cute. However, unless you live for cuteness alone I do not recommend this game.

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